THE BEGINNINGS OF SOBRIETY

My greatest wish the day I stopped drinking was for a year of sobriety. I wanted to sit at the kitchen table, across from my family without feeling their disappointment. I wanted all their doubts about my ability to stay sober to have faded away as they really only can in time. The beginning of sobriety traditionally calls for support from the non-alcoholics family and friends. This is a weird situation and perhaps a bit paradoxical. The new sober person is taught to want support at the point they least deserve support. Everything is tense. No reason for anyone to be confident. Forgiveness, which most alcoholics are initially looking for also plays out in time. It takes time for ice to freeze, and it takes time for ice to unfreeze. Living with uncertainty is an early part of sobriety for everyone involved. Each day of sobriety is akin to accumulating evidence to prove our case. As the evidence mounts, our case gets stronger. Over time it becomes clearer that we have changed. We are no longer guilty.